These last few months I have had to deal with people saying horrible things to me because they feel that they can. I had a man post on Facebook about a sexual action that literally gave me nightmares. I have been mansplained on a daily basis. Men telling me what it is like to be a woman, men who have never ridden a motorcycle before telling me how to do it, men from the comfort of their couch telling me how to live the way I do. I have had people attack me because of my spirituality. I am exhausted.
There is a motto that I live by and it has come time to follow thru with it.
"If I can't afford to eat I can't afford to give"
I have given my time and yes, even money, to keep this blog going for the thousands of people who visit every week. I have answered thousands of emails helping people hit the road, gain courage to live the life they choose, and even how to fix their motorcycle. At times it can be a fulltime job. I travel around with the constant thought of what picture will I share, what is important to share with my followers. I have gone out of my way to find Internet, I have paid for data just so I can keep everyone up to date.
Now that I have made less than $200 a month since September I can't afford to give my time because I literally have no money to eat. I am 3 months behind on bills, I have no money for food or any basics of life. I am thankful to my friend I have been staying with as she is sure I eat every day. But I can't rely on her forever.
What is next? I plan to get enough cash for gas to head out west where I will go off grid. Enough cash to have Yoska food for a year. I probably won't be able to find work out there either so it will be luck if I have food to eat. Then I will just live each day as bonus. That is all I have and all I can depend on right now.
What does that mean? I will not be posting anymore on social media or blogging until I have enough money for the basics. I'm not asking to be a millionaire but I am asking, for all the time I have given, to be able to afford to eat. I will be going retro, I will be sending the few postcards people have bought to support my life on the road, I will be in contact with my close friends by phone and I have to say I'm pretty excited to be present with the people I am with, have the time for longer walks with Yoska and being able to enjoy the place where I am... the sounds, the sights, and I'm excited to have time to play more music.
As my history has shown me over and over again, I know I will loose a lot of followers because I choose life. It has happened in every place I have given my time and had to stop because I was unable to pay bills or, like now, unable to afford food. No thank you, they just disappear. I hit the point in life a few years ago where that doesn't bother me anymore. I know my worth to myself and I know what others consider my worth is irrelevant.
I want to thank the people who have given in return. I want to thank the people who felt my life was interesting. So, here is to goodbye for now. I hope to share with you again soon.
I have many ways to support this blog which I have shared in the last few months. In case you have missed it check out the list below. You can see and order on my website jaclynheyen.com. You can also donate on the sidebar of this blog.
All items will be available when I am offline as I will still check email on occasion while looking for work.