Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Q&A with Jackie: How do I choose where I'm going next?

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Best Dream Ever!

I had the best dream this morning.

I dreamt I woke up with all 3 of my boys on top of me in TicTac.  We were all together as a family again.  Poco and Nube were growling at Randall.  I gave them all a big hug and was petting Poco and Nube as they started licking my face like crazy.  I started to put my hood over my face while laughing to stop them from licking.  Before my hood was completely over my face I said "I wish when I woke up you both would still be here."  It got dark and I woke up.   I looked around like a child expecting a miracle... But they weren't there.  It took a minute and my heart felt like it broke into a million pieces again as I started to cry.

It felt so real... I could feel their warmth, their fur, their kisses... I hate waking up sad but I loved they came to visit and give me lots of love.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Cleveland National Forrest

Can't seem to find good enough internet to load a few more Q&A videos but here are a few pictures of Cleveland National Forrest.  Hope to be able to take a day hike on the PCT while in the area.

That's the PCT

Being Wild on the PCT

That's the PCT back there.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Q & A with Jackie :)

I decided I want to answer everyone's questions in video format here on my blog.  So if you have a question you have been dying to ask... ask.  I will answer one question a day here on my blog.  Come back often to see what people are asking.

You can post your question on this post or on my Facebook Page.

Can't wait to see what everyone has been wondering about.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Friends of the Road

One of the things that amazes me every day are all the friends I have made on the road.  Just when you think you are completely alone there are people I know all over the place.  I totally needed to be around people and I hung out with a friend and fellow woman biker in Las Cruces... then headed out to Arizona and met with a few friends I met during my time at Amazon in Apache Junction and then I met up with a friend I made while in the Albuquerque area this last month and went camping outside Tucson.  Living a life on the road doesn't mean you have to be alone.  Makes me smile that there is such a great network of people out there.  I love meeting new people on the road but it feels like home when I meet people I know on the road.

I couldn't imagine life on the road without internet and cell phones.  That had to be an amazing experience... but I like I can get online and find someone to have lunch with or hang out with in the area I am in.  Today I am meeting someone knew for lunch that I met online yesterday.  Quite crazy to think about but if you are only in a place for a short period of time meeting new people quickly is the way to go.

I have been fortunate that most of the people I have met have been really great people... I have had a couple of rotten tomatoes but it was their own issues getting in the way of happiness and being genuine... I think about all the good and the bad often and send them good vibes and love for just being.

Camping with a friend. :)

Wednesday, March 4, 2015


I feel quite lost this week.  I finally say what I have needed to say and of course my feelings go unheard and it all comes back as I misunderstood.  I had a plan for the week and now it is all up in the air.   Not sure where I belong or where I want to be.  I feel I have disappointed many by doing what I needed to take care of myself.  This just adds to the lost.  I have to look out for me from the beginning and I don't... I do what feels right but don't walk away when it begins to feel not right... I stay thinking things will get better when I am the only one working and the only one who wants it to work.  One day I might get it right.

I don't understand at what point is it ok to hurt people for your needs and at what point does hurting someone for your needs become selfish?  I'm not sure... I do know if something doesn't feel right... When it begins to dampen your soul then it is time to move forward and people may be hurt in the process.... Some directly and some indirectly.  This week I feel I have hurt many people... One directly and many indirectly.  Unfortunately, it came to a point where it wasn't healthy for me... When I begin to see the me with depression more than I see the me with spirit I know I can't go any further.  Something has to change.  Unfortunately, this one had to change and drastically to protect myself not only today but in the future.  It sucks... But I guess that is part of life.

The most fabulous part is I find friends everywhere.  When I really needed to be away from Walmart and around people, a wind sister (fellow woman biker) came forward and offered me a place to sleep and company for the evening.  I am truly blessed.

Moving forward with a bit of a broken heart, less friends and a sore soul.  All will be good with time.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Dope! Did it again!

One day I will learn.  Trust your instincts!!  

I had been seeing a woman during my time in New Mexico.  It started out as friends and turned into quite fabulous but after a couple weeks it changed to stress and anxiety.  My gut was telling me to stop now but my mind kept telling myself I was just insecure.  I put myself out there... Even tried staying longer in New Mexico even though my soul and body were telling me to move forward.  

Shame on me for not listening.  Of course my instincts were correct... Of course I delayed my life for a week for no reason.  Time wasted... Heart hurt... And for what exactly... Not sure.

To me it seems like people see me as a temporary toy... Something they can play around with because they know I will leave.  Never really considering I have feelings, get too attached and am alone on the road sometimes with no one I know for hundreds of miles.  Having to deal with the aftermath by myself.

This time I was somewhat prepared to move forward.  It still hurts because I thought we were at least friends.  Where I'm going next I don't know but I do know it will be an amazing adventure... Just have to clear my mind to let it happen. 

Moving forward... Trusting the instincts.