Tuesday, August 5, 2014

The Way You Look At It

I was just remembering this psychology class I took in college.  The professor told us to think of our first 3 memories and that is how we look at life.

My three memories:

1. I was 2 or so and my dad put me at the edge of the top bunk with my feet dangling down and left the room as I was screaming and crying.  He pops his head back in laughing at me.

2.  I use to hate using public bathrooms or going to the bathroom with men around.  I was probably 4 or 5 and my dad told me this story of a girl who held it too long, got on a hay ride and when it hit a bump her bladder exploded and she died.

3.  I got in trouble in Kindergarden because I used a color pencil on a worksheet instead of a regular pencil.

During this class I was still working on my eating disorder and I thought negative about these experiences.  1.  No one cared and I had to conquer the world all alone.  2. I was going to die from my eating disorder and 3. I was stuck in a world without color.

As I was thinking of these thoughts today they look completely different.

1.  I am the one I need to depend on.  I will not disappoint.  Other people are there and some are supportive and some may laugh but as long as I am secure with myself I can accept the support from others and dismiss those that may laugh.  The only person's opinion that matters is my own.

2.  Live for today.  You never know when it will be your last.  I don't have a bucket list because I try to do what I want when I want.  Sure I have long term goals that take a bit more to do but I am planning all the time.

3.  Use color everywhere!!!  Be yourself!!  Do what makes you happy even if you color outside the lines or use color instead of black and white.

Interesting how life, years and health can change your perspective.  Moving forward!!