Thursday, May 28, 2015

Manic Jackie

Quite surprised by my recent manic episode... hoping it won't last long but luckily it is a productive one.

I knew I was a bit depressed when I had to set an alarm to get up on a working day.  I usually wake up without an alarm around 6/6:30 in the morning and on the days I work I have to set an alarm for 9am and I wake up with the alarm.  I have also been going to sleep when I have to work the next day around 8pm.  So that is about 4 to 5 more hours of sleep on working nights.  Thought all was good when I got up at my regular 6am on my day off but as the day progressed I knew it was going drastically the opposite direction I have been going.

I've been good at keeping myself occupied every day.  I haven't had a nap in weeks.  I take walks every day, go to the library every day during the week and text friends throughout the day... I've also been really good at 3 meals a day.

I am missing my boys a lot lately.  I think because this isn't a new place and I don't have anyone around except when I'm at the library or at work.  I don't feel lonely but a bit restless even when I find things to occupy the day.

So, as the day progressed and I realized I couldn't stop moving I knew things were changing.  I went from the library, went for a walk, rode to the next town for lunch, came back home and took another walk all before early afternoon.  I wanted to go to the town in the other direction for groceries but told myself I needed to stop for a bit hoping it would put a stop to it before it got worse.

Nope, I ended up being up all night with a million creative projects going thru my head.  I couldn't even get one stream of thought to finish a thought.  I ended up editing pictures, updating my CV, singing with my ipod and finally just got out my guitar.  I did do a video or two of me singing and playing the guitar but I can't post while manic because I never quite know what it really looks or sounds like.

I'm trying to be very aware as to what I'm doing and where I am... I have the tendency to go for walks and not realize how far I've walked until I am 10 or so miles away.  I don't really have anyone to call to pick me up when I realize how long I have been out so if you see me wandering down a highway in the middle of nowhere and Blue and TicTac aren't in sight be sure to stop and give me some water.  (funny... but true)

So far my skin isn't crawling so it is tolerable but that may come when I have to work tomorrow and be around people and have people in my personal bubble.  Hoping all is manageable.  I usually make it thru the day and then when I get home I have a melt down.

I can't remember the last time I had a manic episode... sometimes it is hard to tell especially if I do multiple days of 500 miles but I'm pretty sure I haven't had one while sitting in one place since being on the road.  Good time to learn to deal with a manic episode differently from past experiences.

Here is hoping for the best... that I get lots of things done and it goes away without any real issues. (Also hoping this post makes sense)


  1. Perhaps you ready for another poochie buddy...

  2. The post makes sense. That means I recognize what you are saying which is a mixed bag.

  3. you are coherent.

    keep posting.

    we are listening.

    ice cream. raz